Skip to main content
Communication Style - 12-14

12' read.

Dimitris Kalogeras avatar
Written by Dimitris Kalogeras
Updated over 7 months ago

Article: Communication Strategies for 12-14 age group

Welcome to the dynamic world of teaching soft skills to early teenagers! This age, often marked by a surge of independence and a quest for identity, can be challenging for educators. It demands empathy, adaptability, and a deep understanding of their world from the tutor. However, with the right approach, it can also be incredibly rewarding. In this article, you’ll find strategies for effectively communicating with 12-14-year-olds, ensuring engagement, and fostering a positive learning environment.

In the critical developmental stage of 12-14 years, teaching soft skills is paramount as it lays the foundation for effective communication, emotional intelligence, and social interaction. During this transitional phase from childhood to adolescence, soft skills such as self-awareness, empathy, teamwork, decision making and problem-solving not only enhance academic success but also equip young teens with essential tools for navigating complex social dynamics and personal challenges. By fostering these skills, we empower them to build stronger relationships, develop a stronger sense of self-awareness, and prepare them for future personal and professional endeavors. Integrating soft skills into education at this age is crucial for holistic development, ensuring these young individuals grow into well-rounded, confident, and adaptable adults.


Understanding the Age Group

First and foremost, it's crucial to understand the developmental stage of 12-14-year-olds. They are in a transitional phase, moving from childhood into adolescence. This period is characterized by:

  • Seeking Independence: They are beginning to form their opinions and desire autonomy. They question authority.

  • Social Awareness: Peer relationships and social dynamics become increasingly important. They are looking for a sense of belongingness and an open space to express themselves openly.

  • Cognitive Growth: They start thinking more abstractly and critically. They start forming the “bigger picture” of their personality and how things work.



Challenges and Opportunities:

This age group can be unpredictable, moody, and sensitive, yet they are also creative, eager to learn, and capable of deep thinking. Recognizing these traits helps in crafting a responsive teaching approach.

The first step to being a successful tutor for this age group is to make yourself feel like them. Start with a personal reflection: how were you as a teenager? How were your friends? How was your relationship with your parents? Remember the emotions, the complexity of your thoughts, and how the world seemed.


First steps in tutoring the 12-14 age group

  • Be a Mentor, Not Just a Professor: Adopt a mentoring approach. Share your experiences and challenges related to the topic. For instance, talk about a personal challenge you faced in your teenage years and how you overcame it. This humanizes you and makes you more relatable.

  • Create Space for Expression: Encourage open discussions where students can freely express their opinions without fear of judgment. For instance, instead of a traditional Q&A session, have a 'thought exchange' where every student shares their perspective on a topic. This fosters a sense of belonging and respect. Create a supportive environment where students feel safe to express their emotions. Acknowledge their feelings and guide how to manage them. Example: Always start classes with a brief check-in, asking students how they are feeling and if there's anything they'd like to share, become part of their life, and help them “expose” and present themselves to the class.

  • Inspire Through Stories: Use stories of real people, especially young achievers, to inspire them. Discuss the journeys of young entrepreneurs, activists, or artists who have made a difference. Use your and your friends’ stories to inspire them through real life. This motivates them and helps them see the practical application of what they are learning.

  • Empowering Student Voice: Encourage students to share their thoughts on what works for them and what doesn’t. This empowers them, making them active participants in their learning process rather than passive recipients.

  • Building a Collaborative Environment: When students feel their opinions are valued, it fosters collaboration and partnership in the learning process. This collaborative environment can lead to more effective and enjoyable learning experiences.


Strategies for Effective Communication

1. Speak Their Language

  • Use Relatable Examples: Incorporate pop culture, current trends, and real-life scenarios they can relate to.

  • Common Language: Use examples from their world. For instance, discuss leadership skills through the lens of a popular teen movie character, making the concept relatable and engaging.

  • Leverage Pop Culture: Integrate elements from popular teen shows, music, or social media trends into your lessons. For example, discuss character traits from a popular Netflix series to explain psychological concepts or use a trending song to give meaning to the activities and skills you are talking about. This not only makes the lesson more engaging but also shows that you are in tune with their interests.

  • Incorporate Humor: Lighten the atmosphere by incorporating appropriate humor. Jokes related to the subject matter or funny anecdotes can make the learning environment more relaxed and enjoyable. Remember, laughter can be a powerful tool to break down barriers.

  • Adopt Their Communication Style: Be conversational and use age-appropriate language and tone of voice. Do not talk to them as kids, rather than as grown-ups.



2. Foster a Safe and Inclusive Environment

  • Encourage Openness: Create a space where they feel comfortable sharing thoughts and opinions without judgment.

  • Avoid Absolute Right or Wrong: When discussing issues, avoid making absolute statements about right or wrong. Encourage critical thinking by asking open-ended questions like, "What do you think could be another perspective on this?" This approach helps develop their analytical skills and respects their growing autonomy.

  • Safe and Inclusive Environment: Create a 'No Judgment Zone' in your class where every opinion is valued. For example, when discussing a topic, ask each student to share their viewpoint without fear of being wrong. This builds trust and openness.

  • Promote Respect: Teach them to value diverse perspectives and backgrounds. At the beginning of the course, collaboratively establish ground rules for discussions. These rules should emphasize respect, active listening, and the importance of not interrupting or dismissing others. Having a clear set of guidelines helps maintain a safe and respectful environment.

  • Lead by Example: As a tutor, model the behavior you want to see. Show openness in receiving feedback, admit when you don’t know something, and demonstrate respect for all opinions. Your behavior sets the tone for the class.



3. Managing Conflicts and Disagreements

  • Stay Calm and Neutral: Maintain a calm demeanor and avoid taking sides. Your neutrality is key in mediating conflicts effectively.

  • Listen to All Sides: Allow each party to express their viewpoint without interruption. Understanding all perspectives is crucial for fair conflict resolution.

  • Encourage Empathy: Ask each party to consider the other's perspective. This can help in reducing misunderstandings and fostering mutual respect. Explain to them how normal it is that we might not agree with someone, and this doesn’t make us bad or good.

  • Facilitate Problem-Solving: Guide the students to find a common solution. Encourage them to think of ways they can resolve the conflict themselves.

  • Set Clear Boundaries: Remind students of the class rules regarding respect and constructive communication. Reinforce that personal attacks are not acceptable.



4. Empower Their Independence

Autonomy for teens is about recognizing their growing need for independence, self-expression, and making their own choices. It's a critical developmental stage where they form their identity and personal values. As tutors, understanding and respecting this autonomy can significantly enhance their engagement and participation in lessons.

  • Choice-Based Learning: Offer choices in learning activities and encourage them to express their ideas. Offer choices in assignments and projects. For instance, let students choose between having an activity with the whole class together or in breakout rooms (when the activity allows you). This freedom to choose how they express their understanding respects their autonomy and caters to different learning styles.

  • Problem-Solving Tasks: Challenge them with real-world problems to solve, enhancing their critical thinking. Showcase them that giving a solution or a point of view is unique for each one of us and there is no right or wrong way to do so.

  • Facilitate Peer-Led Discussions: Create opportunities for peer-led discussions where the teens take turns leading the conversation on a subject. This boosts their confidence and places them in a position of responsibility, enhancing their engagement.

  • Respect Their Opinions: Actively listen to their ideas and opinions, even if they differ from your own. Encourage respectful debates and discussions in the classroom. This shows that you value their thoughts, further motivating them to participate.

  • Encourage Reflection: Regularly encourage them to reflect on their learning experiences. Questions like, “What did you learn about yourself through this project?” can lead to greater self-awareness and a sense of ownership over their learning process.

  • Promote Collaborative Learning: While fostering independence, also encourage collaborative learning. Group projects where they have to divide roles and responsibilities teach them about teamwork while respecting each individual’s autonomy.



Personalize Their Learning Experience

  • Know Your Students: Tailor your approach based on their interests, strengths, and learning styles.

  • Personalized Learning: Tailor assignments to their interests. If a student is interested in music, ask them to analyze the leadership qualities of a band leader. This personal connection makes learning more engaging.

  • Personalize Feedback: Provide feedback that is tailored to each student's work and effort. Acknowledge their unique strengths and areas for improvement. Personalized feedback shows that you care about their individual growth.

  • Feedback as a Dialogue: Make feedback a two-way conversation. Ask them how they feel about their progress and what support they need. This respectful approach makes them feel heard and valued.

  • Immediate Application: Students are more engaged when they see how what they're learning applies to their everyday life. For example, in a lesson on communication skills, students could practice these skills by role-playing scenarios they might encounter in school, like resolving a misunderstanding with a friend. Similarly, a lesson on teamwork and collaboration could involve a group project where students must plan and execute a small event, teaching them how to work effectively in a team, a skill they can use in both school projects and extracurricular activities. This practical application helps students see the immediate relevance and benefits of the soft skills they are learning.

  • Lifelong Learning: By showing the practicality of what they learn, you encourage a mindset of lifelong learning. Understanding that education is not just for passing exams but for enriching their lives can instill a love for learning that lasts beyond school years.

  • Career Exploration: Linking subjects to potential careers can spark interest in fields they might not have considered. Discussing how decision-making skills can lead to a successful career or how communication skills are essential in journalism can open new horizons for them.



Enhancing Their Motivation and Self-Efficacy

  • Seeing the Bigger Picture: Students are more motivated to engage and excel When they understand how their learning contributes to their growth and future opportunities.

  • Building Confidence: Successfully applying classroom knowledge to real-life situations builds self-efficacy. It reinforces the belief in their abilities and the value of their education.

  • Use Their Interests to Teach Concepts: If a student is interested in sports, use sports-related examples to explain skills development. For a student interested in music, discuss the soft skills development from this perspective.

  • Group Activities for Bonding: Utilize group activities and discussions to foster social bonding among classmates. Students build relationships and a sense of community When they work together on projects or engage in group discussions. This social bonding can significantly boost their motivation, as they feel more connected and supported by their peers.

  • Positive Framing of Challenges: Teach students to reframe challenges as opportunities for growth. For example, if a student struggles with public speaking, discuss how each attempt builds their confidence and communication skills, regardless of the outcome.

  • Connect Emotions to Growth: Acknowledge the emotions students are experiencing and discuss how emotional resilience is a key component of personal development. Use class discussions or activities to explore how managing emotions and learning from them can lead to stronger self-awareness and emotional intelligence.



Keeping Them Engaged

1. Interactive and Experiential Learning

  • Hands-On Projects: Encourage project-based learning where they can create and experiment.

  • Showcase and Feedback: Allow students to present their projects to the class. Provide constructive feedback not just on the end product but also on the process, including communication, collaboration, and problem-solving skills.

  • Diverse Teaching Methods: Use a variety of teaching methods to cater to different learning styles. This can include interactive discussions, visual presentations, role-playing activities, and group projects.

  • Student-Led Discussions: Occasionally, let students take the lead in teaching a part of the lesson or sharing a topic they are passionate about with the class. This not only boosts their confidence but also adds variety to the learning experience.

  • Reflection and Discussion: After completing the project, facilitate a discussion or reflection session where students can share what they learned, the challenges they faced, and how they overcame them. This helps in reinforcing the soft skills learned during the project.



2. Utilize Technology Wisely

  • Engaging Platforms: Capitalize on all interactive tools like quizzes, polls, and collaborative online boards provided for the lesson.

  • Diverse Tool Selection: Encourage the use of a variety of online collaboration tools such as Google Docs, Padlet, and Miro. Each of these platforms offers unique features that can enhance different aspects of project work. Showcase them the value they are getting from working with these tools. Miro, for example, can be particularly engaging for visual learners and helps in developing organizational skills. While Padlet is a great tool for encouraging creativity and sharing in a format more open-ended.

  • Social Media Integration: Incorporate elements of social media in-class activities, like creating content or discussions. Or just simply use references from there.

This guide offers a comprehensive approach to effectively communicate and engage with early teenagers, a group that presents unique challenges and opportunities for educators. By understanding their developmental stage and integrating strategies such as mentorship, open expression, and inspiring stories, tutors can create a learning environment that resonates deeply with 12-14-year-olds.

The emphasis on fostering independence, respecting diverse opinions, and managing conflicts and disengagements are key to nurturing a positive and dynamic classroom atmosphere. The integration of interactive learning, technology, and group activities further enhances engagement, ensuring that each lesson is not only educational but also enjoyable and relevant to their lives.

This guide aims to inspire tutors to embrace the experience of teaching this age group, equipping them with practical tools and strategies to create an enriching educational journey for their students. By adopting these approaches, tutors can look forward to building meaningful connections with their students, fostering a love for learning, and preparing them for a successful future.

Did this answer your question?