As tutors it is very important to be prepared for possible challenging situations that may occur during a class in order to be able to handle them appropriately. For example, it is possible that some kind of romantic situation may arise, which refers to behaviours typically associated with romantic relationships, such as flirting, flirtatious comments or expressions of romantic feelings towards each other and/or the tutor.
Of course such a condition needs delicate handling as it is quite sensitive, emotionally charged and can also distract the other children.
Some general guidelines that a tutor would be well advised to apply are the following:
First of all, we are alert for any behaviors or signs that suggest a romantic intent, e.g., when one child gives or seeks attention from another by his/her behavior or words.
We are able to distinguish between behavior that shows simple sympathy in a friendly relationship and behavior that indicates a sexual interest.
For example, a student may show interest in a friendly context about how a classmate's day was or ask how her day was. However, if he constantly and persistently comments about how beautiful she is, that may indicate a sexual attraction.
Politely remind children of the classroom rules.
Show respect and do not respond in a judgmental and harsh way.
Ages 6-8:
Contingent situation: A student becomes overly interested in another student's life during class, asking personal questions and constantly seeking attention.
Suggested Tutor Response:
Applaud interest in others but focus on the group context
"It's really nice that you want to get to know each other and learn things about each other. We can all do it together at the end of the lesson once we have finished our activities."
At the same time we remind the class rules.
"Kids, in order to make the lesson flow properly, it is important that we all follow the rules that we all made together at the beginning, remember? Who wants to remind us?"
Encourage open communication and ask children questions about these rules.
"If any of you have questions or concerns about appropriate behavior or anything else related to the classroom, please feel free to ask me. I am here to support you."
Focus attention on activities.
"The activities we have to do are super duper fun! So what do you say we go ahead and keep our attention and focus on them?"
Ages 9-11:
Contingent situation: Two kids start sending messages and romantic emojis via chat during class.
Suggested tutor response:
Politely remind them of the purpose of the lesson and acceptable classroom behavior. Encourage children to focus on the lesson and participate in group discussions rather than engaging in private conversations.
"(Student 1) and (Student 2) I notice an interaction between you in our conversation. However, I would ask that we all stay focused on the activity together so that we can complete it and achieve our goal. What do you say? Lets go ahead and work together as a team?"
Ages 12-14:
Contingent situation: Two students begin flirting with each other on camera, making romantic gestures and comments.
Suggested tutor reaction:
Need to interrupt and intervene politely by reminding students of appropriate behavior during the lesson in the manner given above.
"Which one of you will remind me what our class rules are?"
We can send a private message to students and discuss the importance of maintaining a professional learning environment and the need to focus on classroom goals while ensuring their dignity without being embarrassed in front of others.
We can even, with a sense of humor, suggest that they share their social media accounts with each other if they wish so that they can have a more personal communication through them.
Ages 15-17:
Contingent situation: A student openly states that he is in love with another student during a class..
Suggested tutor response:
Maintain a neutral and non-judgmental approach by acknowledging their feelings
"I completely understand that it is perfectly normal for you to feel and develop some feelings for each other,
And in this case, we can also suggest that they share their social media accounts with each other if they want to, so that they can have a more personal communication through them.
Bring attention back to the activities politely.
It is good to remember that in order to cultivate our skills we need to focus on our activities and not allow our personal feelings to interfere while respecting the environment and the rest of the class. Are we okay? Shall we move on?"
2nd contingent scenario: A student shares during a classroom activity personal and romantic details about his/her relationship or a breakup he/she recently experienced.
Suggested instructor response:
Express understanding of the student's feelings by encouraging empathy.
"I understand that what you are going through is very difficult and you need to express your feelings. It would be very helpful to talk to a friend or an adult you trust about this."
We stress the need to maintain an activity-focused and respectful learning environment.
"To complete our activity it is important that we all work together. So shall we let's get on with it?
* There is also a chance that a student may express romantic feelings towards the tutor during the class. This situation in particular requires very delicate management on the part of the tutor and in order to do this he/she needs to be prepared that this may also arise so that he/she can handle it professionally and in a way that will not hurt the child.
It would be helpful for the tutor to:
Stay cool and avoid showing surprise, embarrassment or annoyance by treating the student's comment with respect, without encouraging or dismissing the student's feelings.
Change the focus and attention to the classroom activity back to the learning objectives.
(example) "Thank you for sharing your feelings. I understand that this is something very personal and sensitive and kudos to you for having the courage to express it openly in front of everyone. In order to do that, you need to have certain skills. Can you think of what skill (student's name) might have demonstrated at this time? Does this show us that he is able to speak in public and express his thoughts?"
If the student's behavior persists or becomes annoying, we can contact by sending our concerns to the corresponding Discord channel (https://discord.com/channels/894955559416111164/895604333297696798). If the situation is so severe and you feel you need additional help you may consult a Morphoses counselor.
Remember that it is important for the tutors to handle these situations with sensitivity, professionalism and respect for the well-being of all students. It is important that we can ensure a safe and inclusive learning environment for all children.
General:
We try to stay cool and maintain our professionalism.
We respond in a non-judgmental and abrupt manner by creating a safe space of respect and open communication.
We set clear boundaries for acceptable behavior within the classroom, explaining that doing so may bring disruption to the teaching process.